14 Oct Homework And Boys And Reading
Many parents have mentioned to me “my child won’t read”, “it is a real battle” or “my child won’t do their homework”, “they’re not like their older brother or sister who just gets on with it”.
First things first, take a deep breath and accept that your child has made that choice and be gentle. Children know what they are doing and to some extent, they are much wiser than we are. Your child is trying to tell you something on a different level which you may or may not be able to hear. Do not panic, this is not your fault.
The great news is you have a choice – you can either get a tutor who understands this situation and can help you and your child through it, or you could have no homework and 2-hours of tuition every week. This would ease the pressure from yourself and allow you to let go – it is perfectly ok to do this. You are the parent, you don’t need to be the teacher (academically) as well. Once you accept this you will feel a great weight lifted off your mind. The more you try to control and fight this, the worse you will feel. You’ll watch your child throw a tantrum and you’ll begin to blame the school or the tutor for setting homework or giving them the task of reading. Respect and love your child for the choice they have made or you can book in and have Mindfulness Tutoring sessions and resolve the problem that way.
Boys and reading is a common theme and an assignment I covered at university. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it can’t be resolved because it can. The only reason someone will tell you this is because they have no clue how to do it as they haven’t trained as a Mindfulness Tutor.
We all know that as students get to secondary school and Shakespeare comes in, many students switch off. The language is confusing, the constant sit in a room and listen to my teacher read or go around the room reading is boring and many students switch off.
One thing you can do is ask your child how you and they can make it more interesting. Your child has the answers and if they say they don’t know, find out what’s behind “I don’t know” because believe me, they know. This is one thing many teachers will not do today in the classroom and this is where the reading and homework problem has come in. Teachers are too worried about getting the curriculum taught and don’t realise that if they actually took the time to know the student they would get the curriculum taught faster and in a more positive way. It is a different way for them and they fear the change but it works. All those I have trained have experienced many benefits from it.
Ideally, the structured homework and reading is put into place by the parent in early childhood, where reading and scribble is enjoyed as a family activity. However, we all know that for many families this did not happen for whatever reason. If you have a good, strong connection with your child and can talk through things easily then you can sit down together and put a homework timetable in place on a huge piece of paper. Give the child ownership, don’t (as I see many parents do) make it yours and don’t keep telling them how to do it. Yes, give them ideas but allow them to create it themselves. – try to keep this out of a child’s bedroom as this is their sleeping and resting space. Having a homework timetable in this area of the home prevents them from getting the rest they need as it’s information in their brains all the time and they can never switch off. Go for long walks in nature and let the ideas come as to how the problem can be resolved. Discuss it away from the home and have fun with it, learn from your child and listen to what they have to say.
If you are tutoring with us we can resolve the homework and reading problem. We can get to the root cause of this problem and clear it. It might take more than 1 session but will be worth it when you and your child are free from this battle. Speak to us about it and if you are not having 2-hours a week then book in to get it sorted. You, as the parent, MUST take responsibility to make the booking to solve the problem. I have seen many parents not book in. It breaks my heart to see them continue to suffer but I can’t force you. Just remember, when you turn around and blame the school or the tutor, you made the choice not to make the booking that would have prevented the tantrum in the first place.
Mindfulness Tutoring gets the results your child deserves and gives you, as the parent, a happier family life.